Intimacy in Marriage

Why is it that many marriages lack the spark they experienced during courtship?  Could it be that this most important of relationships is not working because you have violated the manufacturer’s guidelines?

When I was a teenager, at a time when movie projectors were very expensive, I saved enough money to buy one. I waited for it to be shipped to me because I wanted to show it off to my friends and show them some movies. When I got the projector, there was a label on top – WARNING: Do not use without first reading the manual. I looked at the manual—it was very thick and my friends were already there—so I said, “Well, what’s the risk? Just plug it in…” Two seconds later I burned the motor because it was a dual voltage plug. Upon closer scrutiny I saw that it said, Make sure this switch matches the power on the wall. It voided the warranty and what was supposed to be a very enjoyable thing was a very unfortunate thing. Why? Because I didn’t pay attention to the manufacturer’s instructions.

God has so much to say in His Word about marriages. He loves them. He’s partial to marriages. He officiated at the first marriage when Adam and Eve got married, and he will officiate at the last marriage when the church and Christ will become one. One of the first miracles that Jesus ever performed happened at a wedding party. And when the Holy Spirit was looking for an illustration of the relationship between the church and Christ, he used the symbolism of marriage and says that we are the Bride of Christ. So with all that on the scale, we know that God loves marriages.

Satan hates marriages. Everything God loves the devil hates. And one of his schemes is not so much to destroy a marriage through divorce (although he enjoys that), but to undermine the intimacy in marriage so that a couple remains married (because we are Christians, because of the kids, because we can’t afford to go through a messy lawsuit, or for whatever reason), but there is no intimacy. And the devil likes to do that because those marriages that lack intimacy are a good example in his portfolio of why Christians are lousy and they are hypocrites. But God not only loves marriage for the sake of marriage and for the sake of kids, but because in marriage we can experience the deepest relationship, the most intimate, most enveloping, most intense and uplifting feelings, that add to who we are and give us a sense of completeness.

For more on Intimacy in Marriage, watch the video on this topic in the mentoring section at